Wednesday, November 19, 2008

A Few Simple Rules

My sister forwarded me an email this morning. One of those forwarded messages with a few household tips I am sure you have all received at one point or another. This one was different though and it made me laugh. Since it is always good to get a good laugh in the morning I thought I would share the tips with you.

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

2 comments:

Beverly said...

Dang John...you look the same age as my son! Laughs are always good; doncha think? Thanks for that!

I don't see this blog on your list...and figure you'd at least like to see the video I understand came from this blog:
http://frozennerd.blogspot.com/

I wasn't able to find it on the blog, I copied the awesome video from YouTube. I'm sure you can find it on my site; but it makes sense to send YOU where it came from. I hope you enjoy the blog...and don't get too 'homesick'

John Carlson said...

Thanks Beverly! Both Laura and I enjoyed Brendan's blog. We both worked at Palmer many years ago and have lots of memories of out time there. Thanks for passing it along. Too bad Brendan is no longer on station. I will check out the video on your site. J